Wednesday, May 28, 2003
long time with no post. Phil thinks I'm picking up his blogging schedule. Honestly, I've had such a lack of motivation lately. Overall I'm discouraged but mostly just tired of waiting things out in MD. Waiting on a baby. Waiting to only have one job....waiting to move.
That's our biggest news of late. We're planning a move to the Atlanta suburbs to work with our friends at Hope Community Church. We're looking to head down the last week of August with our 2 year-old, Leo and his baby brother who will then be about 5 weeks old. We're really excited to take this step. God is so in this, it's really incredible. Which makes it even more ridiculous that I am in such a constantly foul mood. I mean, seriously, after all the ways God has provided for me, I still doubt and try to do it all on my own....I must be a moron. I think I could write a Chris Rice-esque song on that theme (except he has already done it).
I had two days off in a row for the first time in a month. Monday we went over to Ocean City. It rained the whole way there, but wouldn't you know it cleared off as we arrived. Leo built a sand castle and romped around a lot....he's been talking about the beach for weeks now (only it doesn't sound like beach when he says it...which is a little embarassing in public). We walked the boardwalk and saw some of Melissa's old friends. It was so great. I came back and have had the worst allergies and am stuffy and medicated (not helping at all with the whole "mr grumpy-pants" thing I have going on).
that's all.
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That's our biggest news of late. We're planning a move to the Atlanta suburbs to work with our friends at Hope Community Church. We're looking to head down the last week of August with our 2 year-old, Leo and his baby brother who will then be about 5 weeks old. We're really excited to take this step. God is so in this, it's really incredible. Which makes it even more ridiculous that I am in such a constantly foul mood. I mean, seriously, after all the ways God has provided for me, I still doubt and try to do it all on my own....I must be a moron. I think I could write a Chris Rice-esque song on that theme (except he has already done it).
I had two days off in a row for the first time in a month. Monday we went over to Ocean City. It rained the whole way there, but wouldn't you know it cleared off as we arrived. Leo built a sand castle and romped around a lot....he's been talking about the beach for weeks now (only it doesn't sound like beach when he says it...which is a little embarassing in public). We walked the boardwalk and saw some of Melissa's old friends. It was so great. I came back and have had the worst allergies and am stuffy and medicated (not helping at all with the whole "mr grumpy-pants" thing I have going on).
that's all.
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Sunday, May 18, 2003
I definetely needed tonight. Good cash, little frustration. Just what I needed in a second job. Hopefully this will continue. I need to go to bed now.
Apologies for airing my stress via blog. It's been crazy here (a nice guys way of saying deal with it).
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Apologies for airing my stress via blog. It's been crazy here (a nice guys way of saying deal with it).
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Friday, May 16, 2003
Today. After two days of waiting tables today sucked. I made very little $$$ and am absolutely drained. I'm discouraged (discouragement is something I've felt so often in the last year) and frustrated. I'm once again questioning how I can possibly provide for my family short of packing things up and signing on with a church to do something I'm honestly not excited about at all (nevermind my convictions). I'm bound to have these days...questioning and whining. But seriously, I am looking at student loans and other bills and just saying HOW? Ultimately, I know that God is way far ahead of me on this, but I can't see around this curve. It's too sharp, it's dark, and there are lights glaring in my eyes. I'm blind to what's around the bend.
Still...here is a copy/paste from a recent e-mail I sent to my friend Greg in Alpharetta, GA:
> Greg,
>
> yesterday was...interesting. I was in a drama sketch
> at church. I had some time to kill in the morning
> and snuck off into an empty theater (they meet at a
> movie theater). For 15 or 20 minutes I sat in
> silence, listening and talking with God. I wasn't
> hearing anything but I was extremely blessed to simply
> listen anyway. The main focus of my prayer was this:
> God, remind me of what your voice sounds like, make me
> wise, and speak to me about our future.
>
> Then on with the day. Early in the afternoon we took
> a tour of where our baby is to be delivered. As we
> pulled into the driveway, Melissa said this "I think
> we should move to Atlanta." Through tears she
> explained that while she still doesn't feel a specific
> leading in any direction, she has an enormous peace
> regarding Atlanta. A peace that has been missing.
> She said much more, but that is a summary. Hmmm, I
> thought.
>
> Later that evening I received a call from friend and
> personal mentor, Phil (my friend studying at Duke).
> Great, I thought for a moment, here goes. See, Phil
> is a philosopher...he's made me ask a lot of tough
> questions and in many ways is responsible for my
> "getting" this whole "emerging church" thing. Anyway,
> for some reason I
> was expecting him to be kind of down on you guys there
> in Atlanta. After asking, "so what's up with you and
> those people in Atlanta?" He said, "yeah, that's kind
> of why I was calling...to encourage you to team up
> with those guys. That makes a lot of sense..."
>
And so God gently reminded me that He speaks in many different ways...perhaps he was giving guidance or maybe just encouragement. I honestly couldn't say (I'm just too BLAH today). But I was absolutely reassured that He is listening and working, whether I get it or not.
for what it's worth....
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Still...here is a copy/paste from a recent e-mail I sent to my friend Greg in Alpharetta, GA:
> Greg,
>
> yesterday was...interesting. I was in a drama sketch
> at church. I had some time to kill in the morning
> and snuck off into an empty theater (they meet at a
> movie theater). For 15 or 20 minutes I sat in
> silence, listening and talking with God. I wasn't
> hearing anything but I was extremely blessed to simply
> listen anyway. The main focus of my prayer was this:
> God, remind me of what your voice sounds like, make me
> wise, and speak to me about our future.
>
> Then on with the day. Early in the afternoon we took
> a tour of where our baby is to be delivered. As we
> pulled into the driveway, Melissa said this "I think
> we should move to Atlanta." Through tears she
> explained that while she still doesn't feel a specific
> leading in any direction, she has an enormous peace
> regarding Atlanta. A peace that has been missing.
> She said much more, but that is a summary. Hmmm, I
> thought.
>
> Later that evening I received a call from friend and
> personal mentor, Phil (my friend studying at Duke).
> Great, I thought for a moment, here goes. See, Phil
> is a philosopher...he's made me ask a lot of tough
> questions and in many ways is responsible for my
> "getting" this whole "emerging church" thing. Anyway,
> for some reason I
> was expecting him to be kind of down on you guys there
> in Atlanta. After asking, "so what's up with you and
> those people in Atlanta?" He said, "yeah, that's kind
> of why I was calling...to encourage you to team up
> with those guys. That makes a lot of sense..."
>
And so God gently reminded me that He speaks in many different ways...perhaps he was giving guidance or maybe just encouragement. I honestly couldn't say (I'm just too BLAH today). But I was absolutely reassured that He is listening and working, whether I get it or not.
for what it's worth....
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Wednesday, May 14, 2003
Tonight was my first full night on the floor at the restaurant. Not too bad. They gave me only 4 tables all night long which means I made very little cash, but probably a good idea for a first night. One of my regular starbucks customers came in (denise, she gets a grande skim latte...just fyi). She had a small bill for herself and her 3 sons, but tipped me $20 (a 50%) tip, which just made my night really.
We're still praying that God would make a way for us to be somewhere doing something. Or make a way for us to be here doing something. Until then, we'll take care of bills and have a baby :-) In the next couple of days I'll post some stuff about our last God-sighting...
Goodnight all.
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We're still praying that God would make a way for us to be somewhere doing something. Or make a way for us to be here doing something. Until then, we'll take care of bills and have a baby :-) In the next couple of days I'll post some stuff about our last God-sighting...
Goodnight all.
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Sunday, May 11, 2003
Please pray for Melissa's parents. Her dad is really sick and they aren't sure what the prognosis is (I won't bore you with a laundry list of ailments...it's really quite long). Long story short, he might have cancer and is basically stuck in bed and has been for the past 3 days. I would ask specifically that you would ask God to open Bob's eyes up, that he might see and accept the story that is the gospel.
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Friday, May 09, 2003
I will finally graduate from college tomorrow (saturday). WOO-HOO! I'm also realizing why I never want to live in eastern KY again - but again appreciating the beauty of what God has created here. I'll walk across that stage tomorrow morning and head back to MD. good times.
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Monday, May 05, 2003
hello world. God is speaking powerfully and yet reminding me that sometimes it isn't a still small voice, or even an inner peace, but the reassurance and blessing of friends and family that speaks most powerfully. More on what I call my most recent "God-sighting" later. We are looking into moving to Alpharetta, GA to work with Hope Community. May God's hand guide us as we seek Him. He is so darn good, isn't He?
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