Friday, January 31, 2003
What the world needs now is more phil collin's songs. I think you'll be hard pressed to find a single soul who disagrees.
I need to stop trying to figure it out. I'm putting this all on me. I think we all know how screwed up this is. It's unfortunate that it dominates my thinking. It's reminiscent to me of the teen angst I so loved back in the day. This blog is turning into abc's "My So Called Life." This is not good.
I could be more academic or at least more interesting. If you want that check out Kevin's or Phil's blogs....Kevin, yours is actually an exceptionally normal balance between self and information. An informative journal. Phil is a bit more abstract, I'm sure he would agree....right, Phil? Me: I'm just a whiner.
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I need to stop trying to figure it out. I'm putting this all on me. I think we all know how screwed up this is. It's unfortunate that it dominates my thinking. It's reminiscent to me of the teen angst I so loved back in the day. This blog is turning into abc's "My So Called Life." This is not good.
I could be more academic or at least more interesting. If you want that check out Kevin's or Phil's blogs....Kevin, yours is actually an exceptionally normal balance between self and information. An informative journal. Phil is a bit more abstract, I'm sure he would agree....right, Phil? Me: I'm just a whiner.
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Tuesday, January 28, 2003
Still floating here in Maryland. Man...my last post was so depressing. That's basically been my mood lately, but it's all nonsense because I know that God is totally ready for this whole thing. Honestly it's taken me some time to deal with pride issues to say...yeah, I have a degree in ministry and now I'm going to go sell espresso. I'm past that now, it's just figuring out how to make ends meet...and where to make them meet. We still have this "holy nagging" to the northeast. But HOW? maybe you could ask God about that the next time you're talking to him. I'm pretty sure he's trying to tell me, but I've been pretty busy looking for jobs and I might have missed it. ha! I'm a little "off" today...I tasted about 8 different kinds of coffee at work (Starbucks) today...filling out a little book and listing all these hokey details about them all. It's in the hopes that I could at least get a little promotion within that company and make a little more $$ and be closer to figuring out how this all can work. I've been sending out some e-mails to fellow bloggers and those on this journey labeled the "emerging church." Just my effort to connect -- it's lonely sometimes, especially when you are lacking specific direction. By the way, if this is your first time here, welcome to the inside of my head...take your shoes off and roll around a while. There's plenty of room.
I may be a bit "trippy" but at least I'm not depressed.
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I may be a bit "trippy" but at least I'm not depressed.
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Saturday, January 25, 2003
Well, it looks a little bleak for my ministry career. I'm not interested in working for a church due to the extreme burden God has placed on my heart to plant a network of simple churches and non-profits just aren't hiring nice people with Bible college degrees right now. At least it appears that way. That said, when God placed this burden on my heart for simple churches, I told some friends...I feel so called to this, I believe in this so much, I'll work at 7-11 and do house church if that's what it takes. SO God's calling my bluff.
Aside from the extreme disappointment and confusion this causes my and Melissa's parents, grandparents, peers, and coworkers, there is basically no stress coming along with it. "So you want to do ministry, you just don't want anyone to pay you for it?" - well, kind of. SOrt of. I guess. Honestly I wouldn't care at all, if other jobs paid decent, but we'll work something out, because God is behind this thing and he's bigger than it all - and everyone would agree he's much saner than I.
i'm out....gonna look into some jobs :-)
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Aside from the extreme disappointment and confusion this causes my and Melissa's parents, grandparents, peers, and coworkers, there is basically no stress coming along with it. "So you want to do ministry, you just don't want anyone to pay you for it?" - well, kind of. SOrt of. I guess. Honestly I wouldn't care at all, if other jobs paid decent, but we'll work something out, because God is behind this thing and he's bigger than it all - and everyone would agree he's much saner than I.
i'm out....gonna look into some jobs :-)
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Tuesday, January 21, 2003
well, hmmm. Leo has been sick lately and he is finally seeming a little better. He's had some erratic behavior that will hopefully change soon . It's scary to watch and quite stressful.
I'm calmer today. I've been so incredibly high-strung lately that I must be miserable to hang around with. Phil said some great stuff in his last post (www.philwebster.blogspot.com) and it got me thinking a bit. I think more than anything that Melissa and I really need community too. The kind that Paul talked about all the time. The thing is, sometimes it seems we don't have that type of community with one another even. We're just two Christian individuals who love each other and Jesus a lot. That's just been a huge burden to me lately. I need to help my family to become a religious community. Something I've never really been a part of now that I think about it. At least not in the truest sense.
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I'm calmer today. I've been so incredibly high-strung lately that I must be miserable to hang around with. Phil said some great stuff in his last post (www.philwebster.blogspot.com) and it got me thinking a bit. I think more than anything that Melissa and I really need community too. The kind that Paul talked about all the time. The thing is, sometimes it seems we don't have that type of community with one another even. We're just two Christian individuals who love each other and Jesus a lot. That's just been a huge burden to me lately. I need to help my family to become a religious community. Something I've never really been a part of now that I think about it. At least not in the truest sense.
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Monday, January 20, 2003
For some reason the time is wrong on my last post...it's only 10 o'clock on the 20th. At least I hope so, because I have to be at Starbucks at 5:30.
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Tim's blog, take 2. Honestly, it took me 10 minutes to figure out how to get this far. I am such a loser.
What you'll find here are some of my thoughts...though I'm a little self conscious to join to realm of some of my well-read friends and acquaintances.
Here goes: I think waiting on God sucks. I mean, sure I could spout off a few reasons why it's right, good, or otherwise useful, but let's just be honest, sometimes it sucks. I've told God as much, but then I have to apologize - I wonder if he's making me wait because I'm so impatient. Probably not. In fact, I doubt it. More or less I think he is just so incredibly far out ahead of the game that he knows when I get it, when I see, when I know, then I will shut up and stop complaining. But right now, I think it sucks a little.
What am I waiting on, you ask? Well, there's always been something. Waiting for marriage, waiting for kids...okay I didn't wait long for kids at all, waiting for school to be done, waiting for an internship to start, waiting for an internship to end. Now I'm just waiting to land. I have a wife, 1 child and 1 on the way. I need to land somewhere. More than that I just feel this tugging of God saying "Go plant tomorrow's church" a tugging that's been there for some 2 years now. A tugging to go plant a network of simple churches, we believe at this point somewhere in the northeastern U.S. So what am I waiting for? Just trying to figure out where to go and how to pay the bills...my $40k ministry degree could land me a sweet job at a church...but they generally frown on someone who is coming to start a church....and plus, I just have some of my own issues to work through before a church pays my salary...if a church ever does pay my salary.
That said, we're prayerfully considering Syracuse, NY where I'm inquiring about positions at the Rescue Mission there. Alternately I could transfer to a Starbucks there. I've also randomly applied for a few jobs nationwide with Christian Non-profits. And I applied at JetBlue Airlines in Syracuse and UPS in Syracuse. All of the above would likely stretch the budget, but hey, God is calling...he'll make sure I have enough.
So why am I so impatient.
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What you'll find here are some of my thoughts...though I'm a little self conscious to join to realm of some of my well-read friends and acquaintances.
Here goes: I think waiting on God sucks. I mean, sure I could spout off a few reasons why it's right, good, or otherwise useful, but let's just be honest, sometimes it sucks. I've told God as much, but then I have to apologize - I wonder if he's making me wait because I'm so impatient. Probably not. In fact, I doubt it. More or less I think he is just so incredibly far out ahead of the game that he knows when I get it, when I see, when I know, then I will shut up and stop complaining. But right now, I think it sucks a little.
What am I waiting on, you ask? Well, there's always been something. Waiting for marriage, waiting for kids...okay I didn't wait long for kids at all, waiting for school to be done, waiting for an internship to start, waiting for an internship to end. Now I'm just waiting to land. I have a wife, 1 child and 1 on the way. I need to land somewhere. More than that I just feel this tugging of God saying "Go plant tomorrow's church" a tugging that's been there for some 2 years now. A tugging to go plant a network of simple churches, we believe at this point somewhere in the northeastern U.S. So what am I waiting for? Just trying to figure out where to go and how to pay the bills...my $40k ministry degree could land me a sweet job at a church...but they generally frown on someone who is coming to start a church....and plus, I just have some of my own issues to work through before a church pays my salary...if a church ever does pay my salary.
That said, we're prayerfully considering Syracuse, NY where I'm inquiring about positions at the Rescue Mission there. Alternately I could transfer to a Starbucks there. I've also randomly applied for a few jobs nationwide with Christian Non-profits. And I applied at JetBlue Airlines in Syracuse and UPS in Syracuse. All of the above would likely stretch the budget, but hey, God is calling...he'll make sure I have enough.
So why am I so impatient.
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